Welcome to fantasy land

Vampires, wizards, unlikely swordsmen and ghosties and ghoulies and long-legged beasties and things that go bump in the night abound across our media.

It may have something to do with the unpleasantness of living in a rapidly degenerating capitalist society and the need to escape its crass money-madness.

Unfortunately, with the approach of a general election, it seems that we have to tolerate fevered fantasies in our political life as well.

Because how else could you describe the outpourings of nonsense from the Tories and their so-called think tanks over the last few days?

Take their ideas on health and safety in the construction industry, for example.

It's probably no coincidence that these ideas amount to releasing building employers from any responsibility to the Health and Safety Executive inspectors, given how many of the big construction bosses bankroll the Tory Party but, aside from that, the degree of unreality of their proposals would almost merit a Harry Potter award for magical feats.

Construction companies deemed "low risk" would be entitled to commission a private safety audit. Once the audit had been completed, Health and Safety Executive inspectors would be barred from the company's sites, unless there was an emergency.

Well, apart from the question of who deems these sites "low risk," the question arises as to whether any of the Tory twits who dreamed up the idea have ever been on a building site.

Because, if they had, they would realise that the very nature of a building site means that the shape, size and variety of the risks is constantly changing with the progress of the work and even the weather.

A site at first low risk can change dramatically from day to day, making constant supervision a necessity rather than an indulgence. And, as for safety inspectors not having access except in case of an emergency, that amounts to using workers' lives as an alarm bell.

In what fantasy land is shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted a valid health and safety philosophy? And how many workers will have to be maimed or die to constitute an "emergency?"

Construction is the most dangerous industry in Britain. Last year, 54 workers died at work. We can ill afford there to be more simply to act as an warning bell in the Tory scheme of things.

But it's not only in construction that the Tories are fantasising at the cost of the general public.

Even the NHS, which the Tories claim that they love so much, isn't immune from Fantasy Island politics.

The Tories' tame Reform think tank, which floats ideas for them before they adopt them as policy, has come up with a right steamer. In order to "improve patient care," this pack of geniuses proposes, believe it or not, cutting 30,000 beds and the attendant staff from the service.

We're waiting with anticipation for a proposal to amputate lower limbs as a Tory cure for bunions.

Reform uses the growth of community care as an excuse to propose savaging the NHS, which has already cut beds by nearly a half since 1987, from 270,000 to 160,000 in England alone.

The BMA sensibly points out that bed occupancy levels are already very high, which has contributed to high infection rates, and said that "it is bizarre to argue for more competition given the amounts of public money that have been wasted as a result of private-sector involvement in the NHS."

And health union Unison makes the point that waiting lists would grow if hospital beds are cut.

The union says that "Reform's proposal is irresponsible and ill-thought-through."

But, in Tory fantasy land, what isn't?